Post-It Note Confessions: Part Three

I get really angry whenever I walk past our collection of World Book encyclopedias. I distinctly remember when we bought them. The woman who sold them to us was sitting at the kitchen table with my parents, and I was nearby on the floor of the family room. I was eight years old and casually reading through the dictionary, which was a pretty typical evening pastime of mine. I was happy in that innocent little way that only children can be.
Just then, the World Book saleswoman looked over, noticed what I was doing, and told my parents that I was an odd child. She turned to me and said, "You shouldn't be reading the dictionary. You should be doing something fun!"
I scrunched up my face and looked to my parents. I expected them to defend me, to support my love of words and reading and learning. Instead, they let out a traitorous laugh and signed away a large chunk of money for the horrid lady's encyclopedias.
I will never forget.
The Fairest of Them All
There are tiny specks of something-or-other on my monitor here at home, and they've been around for a while. They're not that noticeable when I'm reading blogs, but they magically position themselves in ways that aren't exactly flattering when I start looking at pictures on Flickr. On my screen, all you pretty people have unsightly moles and age spots, and sometimes your teeth are even blacked out. At some point, I will have to clean off this mess, but for now it's kinda nice to feel superior for a few seconds a day. My sincere apologies. I'm not laughing at you—not alone, anyway. Juan Pedro is laughing, too.
Hold the Nerdsauce
It's amazing how many people are concerned about your safety when you have the cord of a mouse wrapped around your neck. "There was this actress whose scarf got caught in the spokes of her car. She drove off, the scarf strangled her, and her head popped off. You shouldn't wrap things around your neck like that." Crazy, but you forgot to tell me that all three hundred times I wore a scarf this winter.
While we're on the subject, who knew they still manufactured ball mice? I expected to get an optical mouse with my new Dell computer at work, but I guess someone knew I'd be too distracted by my new, shiny 22" monitor to notice the whole "Hey, my mouse seems to have ceased working now that I've dragged it over my Pop-Tart crumbs" thing. But here we are, two months later, and I totally noticed. Yeah. Don't underestimate me again, Dell, or I'll have to knit you a pretty little scarf or two.