Using one of my trademark phrases, "gag me with a spork," was a lot more entertaining before I had a titanium spork sitting on my desk.

I don't often do memes on this blog because, well, they're a lot like the STDs of the blogosphere to me. You can continue the metaphor in your head.

When Golfwidow halfway tags you to do a meme, though, you throw your principles out the window and do the gosh dang meme. (How many times can I use the word "meme" in the first two paragraphs alone?? Geez!) I'm actually simultaneously fulfilling my obligation to Jace of Fuse!, who singled me out to do a "things I want to do before I die" meme over a month ago.

Killing two memes with one entry? Beautiful.

Writing the entry by hand (using pen and paper) and getting only halfway through it because you fell asleep at 6 p.m. and didn't wake up until fourteen hours later? Beautiful... in a Skirtsy way.

There you have it. Part one of the Crazy Eights meme. Part two may or may not be finished while George Bush is still in office. Don't hold your breath, though.

I've been watching 24 with my brother all weekend because, well, there aren't any new episodes of House to watch. Usually, I can only manage one or two episodes at a time before I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack from all the stress of shouting, "OH MY GOSH, KIM. YOU ARE A MORON!" But this season finally sucked me in, and I really needed to keep watching until I found out what happened to the bomb, Jack, Kim, the President, Mrs. Palmer, Lynn, George, etc.

So tonight, while the stupid little "countdown to the commercial" noise was happening — doo . . . DOO . . . doo . . . DOO — I took the liberty of summarizing the season thus far. Well, really, I was trying to find something to do that was less annoying than adding "... ladies" to the end of every Jack Bauer line. ("I AM THE POLICE ...ladies." / "I love you more than anything in this whole world ...ladies." / "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP ...ladies.")

Behold. The worst drawing I have ever created and yet still somehow the best:

Special close-up preview:

If you haven't watched the show, this entry won't make a smidgen of sense to you, and I'm okay with that. You should probably watch it when you find the time. Otherwise, just rest in blissful ignorance, knowing that my drawings are extraordinarily accurate and rejoicing that you aren't the one risking multiple heart attacks for the sake of entertainment.