Here follows a perfect example of why you should never ask me about my cats (oh, and for the record, "Pimp" is a nickname, not a status):

Pimp: how is the little beasties?
Me: The dog is still nearly dead.
Me: The one cat still licks the fur off her butt.
Me: And the other cat is turning into a dolphin.
Pimp: that sounds weird...
Pimp: does he swim a lot or what?
Me: No. You know that trick the trainers do where they put their hand out in the air and the dolphin jumps up to hit it with his nose?
Me: My cat did that tonight.
Me: Completely unprompted.
Me: I put my finger out to indicate "One hour 'til feeding time, silly."
Me: And he jumped up to hit it with his nose.

My friend Jason called the other night. I kinda got out of line with him because he's a ninja, whereas I'm a pirate. I could hear his eyebrows raise through the phone after I called him a wench or a slut or something. "Watch out, chica. My pimp hand is gettin' ready."

I was too busy listening to his eyebrows to hear what he said, so my brain interpreted that as "Pimp panda's gettin' ready." I tell you this because I am here and now laying claim to that phrase, which will definitely be used as a lyric in the near future. You know, whenever my fake band, Ukeleles and Doobs, gets together to practice our rad music.

And yes, my stage name might possibly be "Running Deer."

I like seeing what other people have to say in their "101 Things About Me" lists, but I don't have the attention span to read or write all those things in one sitting. Therefore, welcome to Volume One of my list. The finished product will be posted on the Extras page, which is currently almost as unloved as the About page and the Contact page.

Anywho, here we go.

1. I only ever like one side or the other when I draw a heart.
2. My fingernails are always torn, the polish always chipped. However, I would trade in my fingernails completely just to keep playing piano.
3. I like that my parents go watch plays together.
4. Nothing will ever spell happiness for me quite like listening to old jazz on a sunny, summer afternoon.
5. When I was in elementary school, I would spend recess pretending to be an Indian princess named Running Deer . . . or a tiger.

That concludes the list of things that have been sitting around on Post-It notes this week. In other news . . .

Happy birthday, Daddy!!!! I love you!