Over the years, my father has used his parental influence to instill in me a love for several things — the Chicago Cubs, PCs, malted milkshakes, and Dilbert, just to name a few. His biggest project, however, was to convert at least one of his two children into a bona fide nerd.

Now, I have fought this fate for as long as I can remember. I would like to think that the vast amounts of time I spend hanging out with real live people cancels out some of the hours I spend on the computer. However, most of this "hanging out" involves watching cartoons and whatnot on Boy's computer. I also try to find non-nerdy interests to balance out the nerdy ones, but I end up knitting instead of blogging, playing The Sims instead of typing up HTML.

In short, I'm doomed.

My fate was truly sealed on Thursday night, when I was studying for an upcoming computer science test. As I flipped through page after page of useless information about C++, I came across the abbreviation "char," in reference to a character. I paused in my reading, wondering why that looked so odd to me. At this point, all things in the universe began operating in slow motion, cringing with me as my mouth opened.

"Ha! 'Char.' That reminds me of a Pokemon character. What was his name again?"

C++ and Pokemon? Dad, I hope you're proud. Mission accomplished.

Shortly after the boys returned to school from Christmas break, we organized a trip to Wal*mart to stock up on supplies for the semester. I had bought dozens and dozens of water bottles a month when Aubrey and I were roommates in the fall, but my budget wouldn't allow for such extravagance any longer. Instead, I opted to buy a Brita pitcher and was delighted to find one for the low, low, student-friendly price of five dollars. Five dollars!

I double-checked the price three different times, comparing the UPC on the box of the product to the UPC listed with the price on the shelf. It was true! For five dollars, I could have lovely drinking water for at least two months. Granted, replacement filters are made of platinum and cost five arms and three legs, but I'm hoping to just find another five-dollar pitcher later.

All this to say, I feel this man's pain...

Water connoisseur: So, how did things go last night with... Ugh... What's her name? Kate?
Friend: Seriously, dude, it was going so well, but then she did something really f-ing nasty.
Water connoisseur: Whaaa?
Friend: Dude, she put an unfiltered ice cube in my Brita water. She totally tainted the water. Dude, that's just gross.
Water connoisseur: How do you know she didn't filter the cubes?
Friend: Dude, you just can't risk something like that...

www.overheardinnewyork.com

Mom: howdy
*** Auto-response sent to Mom: Pushing people off of planks...
Me: Hey hey.
Mom: hey - I wanta push people off planks
Me: Feel free to help out.
Mom: do they scream?
Me: Yeah, that's the best part.
Mom: awesome!

Oh, the homesickness. How many days 'til Spring Break?